Are you a people pleaser? Do you always have the urge to make everyone in the office happy? If yes, you’re a people pleaser. It is okay to be pleasant to your co-workers but there are also some cons to it. People pleasers are kind but usually accept heavier workloads and spend time and energy to keep everything peaceful. But despite these positive attributes, it can also have a negative impact on your career, as well as professional happiness. It can lead to frustration and burnout.

It can be difficult to break this habit but it’s not impossible. Get your career back on track by avoiding people pleasing tendencies.

1. Say “No”

Most people think that by being assertive, your workplace relationship will be damaged. This is one of the fears of anyone in the workplace. You can try out different ways to say “No” until you feel comfortable.

You can say that you have a deadline that’s approaching. Or you can say that you need to finish a report but right after you finish it, you can go. It’s important to set time frames as to when you can attend to an appointment. Practice turning down until it becomes more natural.

2. Little by Little

Do not try to make an attitude shift 180 degrees. Pin point a few things you can improve on and begin from there. Track how often you apologize at work and see if you can improve that number by making it less. Of course, do this for things that aren’t your fault. Set a goal each week and accomplish it.

3. You are not alone

You often think that if you don’t do things, it won’t get done. The company doesn’t rely on your shoulders alone. You should let other people take the job if you are maxed out. If you understand this, you will not stress yourself over things you cannot control.

4. Set a Goal

You can even bring this up to you supervisor or boss in your one-on-one meetings so you can both address the problem. Explain it to him why you want to quit this habit and also tell him the skills you would want to improve on.

This will help your boss notice your dedication to the job and to your career development.

5. Accept Change

Do not fear rejection and failure. Why do you put others first before yourself? Knowing the root of your habit will help you eliminate it. Know what you need to break and then work on it. Make a list and consider what you should do to avoid those kinds of situations.

6. Ask for Help

Do not just agree to take on any job. Ask for help if you can’t take on a role. Seek for opportunities where colleagues can help you. If you are overwhelmed by emails, meetings, or projects, you can ask someone to help you. Take something off your plate. It’s OK to ask for help even if it’s a minor task.

7. Don’t give a litany of excuses

It’s tempting to want to defend your decision to say no to someone so they understand your reasoning. But this actually backfires. According to Newman, “As soon as you start explaining, you give the other person lots of wiggle room to come back and say, ‘Oh, you can do that later,’ ‘You can adjust your schedule’ or ‘That’s not as important as what I’m asking.’”

Remember that the only person who has complete control over you is yourself. Make yourself a first priority. If you think this article is helpful, share it to others.