4 Simple Ways to Deal with your Child’s Behaviour

Behaviour management is easy for some parents and difficult for others. Many factors can influence your own parenting style including the way you were raised, your culture, your own ideas about what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour and many other social dynamics. Consistency is key, so before trying out these techniques, make sure that everyone in the family unit is on board, including nannies, grandparents or other helpers. No matter what your parenting style is, here are some useful strategies for you to try when your child is pushing the boundaries.

Positive Reinforcement
We all love to be praised, it lifts our mood, confidence, and self-esteem. This is exactly the same for children. Make sure you use positive praise often with your child; even if it’s something small, it means that your child will be more likely to display this behaviour again in the future. However, if you do see repeated poor behaviour, then it is likely that you have not used positive praise as effectively as you could. Worry not, if you use the following tips, you’ll be sure to succeed:

• Praise any positive behaviour sooner rather than later. If possible, do it in the moment. Be specific about what you are giving praise for. Use phrases such as “That’s really great sharing Abdul, well done!” Giving praise or a reward straight away helps to strengthen the connection between the reinforcement and the behavior, and increasing the likelihood of the child repeating the desired behavior.
• Don’t waste your time and money on candies or toys. While they are a nice reward once in a while, there are plenty of ways to practice positive reinforcement without breaking the bank. Simple strategies can be much more effective, such as giving your child a high five, doing a happy dance, singing a silly song together, going to the park or allowing them to choose what to eat for dinner.
• Remember the size of the reward should match the behavior that the child has displayed. In essence, the better the behavior the larger the reward.
• Be consistent, after some time it will become second nature to your child.

Give a short warning prior to a transition
You may have noticed that your child is more prone to getting upset when they are suddenly removed from their activity of choice, whether it be to leave the house, change their nappy, or go to bed. Nobody really enjoys being interrupted and yanked from an activity. Next time, try giving your child a two to five minute warning before you make the transition, this will prepare their mind for the change, and help prevent any trouble.

Practice what you preach
Nobody is perfect, however always try to be a positive role model for your child. As a parent you are your child’s very first educator, so why should your child say please and thank you when you don’t? Hearing this language consistently will help your child to learn the language and use it themselves in the future.

First & then
This is a structured way to let your child know two things.

1. First– what the expected behaviour is
2. Then– what positive reinforcement they will receive after.

For example, “First you need to tidy your toys, then we can go to the park.” Using this method will help your child to process what you are asking them to do and makes them aware that something fun is coming, thus, helping them to perform the desired behaviour.

Dealing with defiance
Even if you consistently follow the above strategies, there may be some instances when your child shows no interest and is really testing your limits. Depending on your child’s age and level of understanding, it is sometimes beneficial to choose to ignore the challenging behaviour and divert your attention elsewhere. This will allow your child to regulate their own emotions. Once calm, you can discuss what happened and decide on some strategies to help them in the future.

Note that if your child is at risk of putting themselves or others in danger, the behaviour cannot be ignored. Call for help if you can, move your child to a safer space, or remove any possible hazards from the immediate environment. If this is a regular occurrence for your child and you are worried, speak with your child’s doctor or teacher for further assessment.

About the Little Dreamers Nursery
The Little Dreamers Nursery staff are highly trained in dealing with challenging behaviours. For more information, contact [email protected].