Parents may find it frustrating when their child doesn’t pay attention or listen to them. This frustration doesn’t do any help as it just aggravates the problem. As a parent, do you have any idea how often your child listens to you?
There are different reasons why kids don’t listen to their parents. Sometimes they will do the exact opposite of what their mom or dad says and seem unable to follow direction. Here are some of the reasons why children often seem distracted, as well as tips to resolve this behavior.
SEE ALSO: 25 Toddler Parenting Tips (Infant Guide)
When you talk and want your child to listen, make sure there are no other distractions. They may be busy doing something else. Get the attention of your kids and let them know that you need to talk to them. Ask them to stop what they are currently doing and listen to you carefully. Making an eye to eye contact is essential.
It may be true that parents often speak in a loud authoritative voice. Some kids only respond when they’re spoken to in a loud voice because it had become a habit. Thus, they don’t listen if you’re not talking in a loud voice.
Try explaining your point in a clear and normal tone of voice, so you don’t have to shout at them. Make this a habit from early years and you will see the results.
Some of the words “You”, “If”, “Why”,“No”, “Don’t”, and “Can’t” can hinder your kids from listening to you. These words, especially “You” can mean attacking your kids for her character. This feeling of pointing a finger at them is what kids hate and they feel threatened. As a result, they will automatically shut down and just stop listening.
‘Why’ sentences, on the other hand, expects an explanation from the child for their behavior. It is as negative as others because the truth is they’re just kids and they don’t understand and know the reason. Reduce the use of these words and see what effect it can have on your kids.
This will not work with your kids. They decide whether to listen or not from the way you speak and your tone of voice. If you just keep on talking without listening to them, they will not do the same. Instead, take their views and listen to them. Give them a chance to talk.
They feel like parents are forever just talking, talking, and talking, without really listening to them. It works best to not lecture, preach, or instruct them forever, instead take their views too.
Use declarative, firm sentences to get your instruction straight to the point. Kids’ attention span is short, so you have to be quick and precise.
Some kids do best when they are in control of the situation. This will be difficult if you are a bossy parent. Thus, they will not listen to you if they don’t get what they want. The only way for this to work is to give in. Let your kids take control but guide them and make sure that you are still the authority.
Parents have the tendency to repeat what they say. Kids get tired of this. Lay out the rules once, and let them follow the consequences for not listening to you. Do not become a nag and always repeat the instructions 1-2 times. Kids have very receptive memories; they easily remember what you say when explained to them clearly.
As parents, it’s important to be a good role model to your kids. Strive to be a good listener so if they notice you listen, they will do the same. If they see that you don’t listen when someone talks or when they talk, they will imitate what you do.
Remember, your kids are watching what you do. They imitate your actions more than your words and it all happens so fast, sometimes you won’t even notice it.
Sometimes when you lose patience, you just yell and tell them to listen to you. Sometimes you’re just angry and you take on your frustration to your kids. Refrain from doing this as it will only cause your kids to lose interest in whatever you will say.
Sometimes, even after you tried all these things above, your kids just don’t want to listen. They may be seeking your attention, or they may have some issues with you. There’s a stage in every kid’s life when they share more to their friends than you.
Check if your child has a listening problem or other condition which can prevent him from hearing what you say. Regularly consult with a pediatrician or doctor.
SEE ALSO: 56 Best Back to School Articles for Parents
Do you know any other tips to make your child listen to you? Share this article to other moms you know.
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We have one child now study in class XII science,but some time he didnt attend the tuition class and always says yes i went class means he didnt obey our voice.
By GULAM HASSAN (Apr, 2019) |