Auckland Grammar School

The boarding environment is an integral part of School life for the students at Auckland Grammar School. It is through the providing of a safe and positive emotional, physical and social environment that our students have the opportunity to develop to their full potential.

Boarding school is often the first time that many teenagers spend a significant amount of time away from home. New boarders need to be proficient in a number of key areas if they are to make a speedy transition to boarding at Tibbs House.

Parents can ensure that their son is prepared by ensuring that he has the following skills in place before he arrives:

• He knows how to make his own bed, put away his folded clothes and completes other household chores
• He has an ability to keep his belongings tidy and secure and understands the importance of regular, basic hygiene
• He knows how to politely address adults and to make requests of them
• He can maintain a healthy balance between his school-work and free time

Parents can also help their sons prepare for boarding by discussing the following common issues that are often faced by new boarders:

• Adapting to a community living situation
• Security – looking after his own property while respecting others
• Conflict – respecting and tolerating others and their personal space
• Structure – understanding that a large community is reasonably inflexible
• Physical and psychological changes
• Coping with day to day routine and the roles/responsibilities within that routine
• Communicating with home – negotiate by what means, when, and how often
• Increased academic pressure and/or unrealistic goals
• Budgeting – agree on a set amount and stick to it

Homesickness

It is important to remember that it is perfectly normal to miss home and it is often short-lived. Homesickness can be linked to poor grades and/or difficulty with school work so it is important to address the issue quickly.

Communication is key – encourage your son to discuss the problem with a Master or a Matron. Staff are experienced in handling homesickness and can call upon Senior boarders to act as a buddy.

New boarders should hang out in the common areas as much as possible so they can form new friendships and be involved in any activities that occur. Being involved in a School-based activity can also help them to make more friends and to keep their mind off being homesick.

Parents should keep communication to a minimum initially and realise that boarders tend to phone when they are at their lowest, often accentuating the negative in an effort to convince you.

Try to focus on the positive aspects of what their hostel and School life provides them. If the reality that one day he is there, the next day he is not, does affect you, do not hesitate to get in touch with the Director of Boarding or your son’s Housemaster.

Pastoral Care

Boarders need to realise that having problems is completely normal; it is not a form of weakness to want to talk about these things with someone.

Whatever the problem is, it is better to talk to someone sooner rather than later. Students should feel confident about speaking to any of the Masters, the Director of Boarding or the Matrons – they are all vested with the pastoral care of the boarders, particularly those new to Tibbs House. There is also a designated Guidance Counsellor who is available for students during School hours and after hours if need be.