‘The best antidote to despair is action,’ says MBA Graduate Vilma Tadeja

Everyone has an amazing story connected with their MBA journey. Here is a glimpse of my unique experience.

I remember a night when I wished to stop the clock at 11 p.m. just so I could submit the assignment before the deadline. Then, there are those moments when there was barely a month left before the dissertation deadline and I had to face the ambiguity of interpreting and analyzing the collected data for my research. I’m staring at the horizon, wondering how to start the literature review itself. Another unique experience is sending survey questionnaires or interviewing people for research. Some of these people were helpful, while others don’t care. At a certain point, I worked hard and I did whatever it took until I successfully completed the assignments and concluded my dissertations. I must say I felt nothing less than a “superhero” those days when I had to juggle between multiple responsibilities as a spouse, as a parent, as an employee, and an MBA student.

Many people find their inspiration in life in different ways. My case is a bit different because I found my inspiration after my son’s death. A year before I started my MBA, I lost my son. At that time, I was here in the UAE working to support my family, while all my kids were in my home country. It was on New Years when I had my last conversation with my son over the phone. That night, it never occurred to me that that would be the last time I would hear his voice. The next morning, I received the most devastating phone call I ever had in my entire life, my son was found dead. I flew back home and watched my son’s casket being lowered into the ground. As a mother, I was faced with that extreme sadness of losing a child, a person you love so much, while at the same time, on my shoulder was a great responsibility of collecting shattered pieces of myself, putting them back together, so that I can bring my life, and my other children’s lives back on track.

My son’s death changed my life and taught me a lot of lessons. Swallowed with grief, I learned about the brutality of loss. However, I also learned that when life knocks you down, you can get up, stand up, and walk straight again. I learned that I am always left with options, and I have the power to decide and select my reaction to every situation. I have learned that the best antidote to despair is action. In the same year, I decided to pursue personal development to boost my career, to improve my life and that of my remaining children. After a diligent search of the schools and universities in the UAE, I stumbled upon Westford University College and after a series of phone calls with my advisor, I decided to enroll for an MBA in Human Resources, a degree to be awarded by Guglielmo Marconi University. The succeeding weekend, I attended my very first class in my first subject at Westford and the rest is history.

My son’s death taught me that losing one finger doesn’t mean losing all your limbs. I am sharing my story with you, the answer to my WHY, with the hopes that in the moments of joy, you can learn in life the inspiration I found in death. I was devastated, I was broken, but I believe I was gracefully broken and healed to see the purpose that I was created for. I was gracefully broken to see the hope, strength, and the light within my inner self. This light will never ever be extinguished.

At some point in our lives, we may feel broken. For others it is mild, and for some, it is unbearable pain. Let’s face it. There was a time when you expected that promotion, only to find out that it was given to a colleague who you think is not better than you. There was a time when you expected a distinction, but you got merit in your case study or assignment. There will always be times of adversities, loss of opportunities, loss of love, broken relationships, and sometimes loss of life itself. My son’s death taught me that I am gracefully broken, to see my core, to reveal the true strength that nurtures that small flickering light inside me, that would burn up to a big flame to light the path of my other children, this right here is my purpose.

As I leave Westford and GMU, let me leave you with a message of ‘building resilience’ -resilience to face the world, resilience to stay in our jobs or find a better career, resilience to face greater challenges, and resilience to never stop working in developing ourselves.

In the words of David Brooks, “You have to give to receive. You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer your desire to get what you want. Success leads to the greatest failure, which is arrogance and pride. Failure can lead to the greatest success, which is humility and learning. In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.”